However, many women who come to live in Asian countries find Asian men as attractive as any other man on the planet, and some might even prefer Asian features over Western ones, as author Caroline Pover discusses in her book, Love With a Western Woman: A Guide for Japanese Men.
Japanese Men + Western Women = Yes? No? Maybe? | All About Japan
So while this stereotype may be informing—and limiting—the actions of Japanese men, it's high time for them to let it go! On the other hand, while many Japanese guys seem to be just fine with the idea of dating Western women, when it comes to marriage, opinions change and "maybes" abound. One first worry comes from pure logistics. Once the couple is married, what country are they going to settle in?
This question is especially daunting if the potential wife is a woman with her own career.
What’s Dating Like in Japan for Foreign Women?
Beyond language and job barriers, thoughts go to the couple's parents: Thinking about this issue is worrisome for everyone, but it becomes especially problematic in a country where the eldest son is traditionally expected to care for the parents in his own home. These worries are clearly expressed by interviewees in blogger Yuta Aoki 's video below:. Another source of concern is the children's education. Once again, the choice of which country to school the children in might create problems for the couple, especially given the large differences among school systems and the cost of foreign private schools in Japan.
As mentioned by the Japan Times , there is a lot of discussion among international couples about what is best for the children's education. Finally, some men think cultural differences in terms of language, religion, etc. And don't forget all the necessary yet cumbersome visa procedures, as some interviewees in Nobita's video below remind us. Of course, these latter concerns are borne equally by Japanese men and women alike.
So while they don't explain any difference in coupling ratios in and of themselves, they may serve to further suppress an already unlikely scenario, pushing down its social acceptability.
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- What’s Dating Like in Japan for Foreign Women?!
- Why is Dating Hard for Foreign Women in Japan?.
- 1. Dating is not the same for foreign women and men!.
The cultural battle over Japanese women marrying Western men has been broadly fought for decades, but men still have that battle ahead of them. A lack of commonality can, in itself, form a barrier. Nobody wants to be the first or one of the few to stick their neck out. When thinking about these things, Japanese men seem to prefer going the safe route and opting for marriage with someone from their own nation.
On the other hand, given the present age of globalization and mobility, it's not rare for people who have the chance to live abroad to fall in love with a certain country and, by extension, with its people. Similarly, a fascination with a certain language and culture might lead people to actively seek companionship with a person of that nationality. For example, it's been found that studying abroad changes one's perspectives on one's relation with foreign countries—and this study shows a correlation between studying abroad and future prospects of working abroad in the case of European students.
That says nothing directly about relationships per se, but it does weaken the barrier to spending one's life abroad with a special someone. With this in mind, while it may take time for ideas to change within Japan, it seems probable that as more and more Japanese nationals spend time outside their home country, the number of international relationships and marriages may also increase. And following a dip that bottomed out in , recent statistics show a rising trend in Japanese students heading overseas, with the top four destinations being the U.
'I'd like to date them! But I don't know where to meet them...'
Is it only a matter of time before the sight of a Japanese guy with a Western girl becomes a common one on the streets of Tokyo? Travel Looking for Luxury?
Japan Has You Covered! Even my boyfriend who is pretty confident had to wait for a friend of mine to set-up a dinner where we could meet before he could work up the courage to ask me out. I think quite a common thing among foreign girls who are in relationships with Japanese guys is that generally the guy has lived abroad or has some sort of not-typical Japanese perspective that makes him attracted to foreign girls.
Yeah I went on this one date and the guy spent most of the time on his phone and it was really awkward. I think because of the language and cultural barrier often conversations can be quite superficial — this or that recommendation of what to do in Japan, or do you like this Japanese food etc.
Is there really a casual dating culture here? Yeah, it seems like back home dating is really much more frequent.
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I mean I think that people will go on lots and lots of dates, going in and out of relationships over their twenties and kind of assessing what they want before they settle down. My experience dating foreign guys here has been comparable to back home — so pretty awful actually — but the general picture of foreign guys in Japan is that they really want to date Japanese girls.
The Shocking Truth About Dating in Japan as a Foreigner
Actually I think that must be difficult for foreign guys especially. Hmm the dynamic between men and women I think is more traditional then back home. Yeah I wonder about relationship equality. I have to say compared to back home in Italy, Japanese men help around the house and I was quite surprised by that. Have you dated in Japan?
How do you feel about some of the things that were talked about? Creative Producer at GaijinPot. More articles by Rebecca Quin. I was in tokyo for 2 weeks. Well i met a japanese man on tinder, he was very talkative for being japanese maybe because he told me he works in publicity. He told me he want to kiss me and he did it…really weird, i never expected that from him.
Then a few days later we met again and hook up, from what i think he is a total gaijin hunter and probably will tell his friends he hooked up with a latina. It is easy to get someone to hook up but probably difficult finding someone for a relationship. I think its a big challenge for Asian men to make that confident approach hopefully that barrier can be tackled. Not sure what it would be like for men dating women in Japan.
Im sure there are different intentions for both men and women who are foreign. Gives me a better understanding of how the dating scene works in Japan before I visit. I met my Japanese husband at a bar in Japan. I never had any preconceived notions about what Japanese men are supposed to be like. We are best friends and share so many things in common. Sometimes you just have to give someone a chance. They just might be your lifetime partner. Really an interesting topic, this what I have experienced while dating a japanese guy.
One thing for sure he is not afraid to show me to the world. When I was in my early 30s here in Tokyo, I dated a few Japanese guys. The signs of affection are subtle but unmistakable. I was too skittish. When I was over 40 I met my awesome Japanese guy. I think that, because both of us are mature age wise, anyway! Probably the main reason i moved out of Japan to the UK….
I role my eyes at online blogs saying that how easy it is for white males to meet the female natives here. Most people have no idea how life really is in Japan and how secluded and isolated the people have become. Their family does that for them. They seem to have tunnel vision and have zero interest in getting to know the foreign women in their area.
Most of my foreign female friends are in the same boat, the few who do have Japanese boyfriends are fluent in Japanese which seems to make a big difference. The first kiss in a film caused a huge controversy. I got over it. Thank you so much Charlotte for your writing. The dead fish kiss is usually in public.